The wait...

Waiting to go into labour is an experience that is equal parts exciting and excruciating. It can't be likened to anything else - it is one of the few things in life over which we have absolutely zero control. I am 39 + 1 today, and feel quite certain that this baby will be late... I feel fine, look a little soft around the egdes and puffy (probably as a result of how much I have been eating - all restraint has gone out the window, food has become a bit of a comfort), and am actually at peace with my inability to exert any real influence over the process. Very different to how I was feeling at this point last time - desperate and cranky, I deliberately isolated myself and was focused solely (and rather stupidly) on getting things started.

I undertook all the usual, old wives' tale-type approaches - yes, I reluctantly had sex, ate pineapple and drank pineapple juice (which only exacerbated the heartburn I was experiencing) walked and walked and walked, and stuffed myself silly with chilli. When none of that worked, I resorted to acupuncture, a move that, given my generally very sceptical views on alternative medicine, demonstrates how absolutely desperate I had become.

Did it work? Well, perahaps it was starting to... I was already well overdue when I had my first session (which I found painful at first, but ultimately very relaxing). I had the second a few days later, and the next day finally had a show. But there is no way of knowing whether that would have happened without the acupuncture! I have a little laugh inside when people share their natural induction "success" stories - because, when you think about it, given that all of these things are being undertaken at the pointy end of the pregnancy, when you are supposed to go into labour anyway, there is simply no way of ascertaining the success of such methods.

Anyway, as those of you who have read my blog from the beginning already know, I ended up being induced at 40+9, and Otis was born 10 days past his due date. As far as inductions go, it was relatively straightforward - I was already 2cm dilated when they broke my waters and switched on the Syntocinon, and it was all over within 6 1/2 hours. But I did then suffer a post-partum bleed that was horrific and painful and left me quite traumatised. So induction is not really an option for me this time. I find it hard to believe that my body will ever go into labour of its own accord, but the midwives assure me that it will! At the Birth Centre they don't even discuss induction until 42 weeks anyway, so I've awhile yet before that option comes into play...

Until then, I am OK with waiting. I am enjoying the anticipation and the mystery, to be honest - it's such a different experience this time around. I don't feel desperate. I've let go of trying to bring it on... Well, that's not entirely true. I am inserting Evening Primrose Oil capsules of a night. So far all that has done is deposit an oily residue in the toilet when I wee the following the morning! But I'll keep going with it. My midwife tells me that at Wollongong Hospital they have had some success in avoiding medical inductions using this natural method.

I look forward to having a proper labour story - you know, something along the lines of "I woke up in the middle of the night and found the bed was soaking wet", or "I started having contractions whilst watching the Survivor finale" - a story of surprise and spontaneity.

Watch this space!

Empathetic Otis

Otis is an emotional little boy. He has a wide array of expressive faces and sounds that he uses to communicate how he is feeling. Sometimes it's disgust (usually when he spots a speck of dirt on his clothing), sometimes joy (at the sight of a tool, truck or motorbike), sometimes sadness (when I leave him, or when he hurts himself).

I didn't realise that he had started to grasp the concept of empathy, though. Today we were watching Charlotte's Web (the original animated classic, a favourite of mine) - specifically, the scene where Wilbur, confronted by his own mortality, sobs "I don't wanna die", over and over. It is a very sad moment. Still, I was stunned when Otis began sobbing along with Wilbur, burying his head into my chest, shaking, tears streaming...! Is it really possible he understood how Wilbur was feeling? Or was it something completely unrelated that I somehow missed that was to blame for the sudden onset of raw emotion?

Behaviour

Otis is what is known as a "good boy". He's not destructive, doesn't throw tantrums (other than every now and then laying on the floor with hands above his head and whimpering), listens, obeys instructions, and spends very little time crying. I am very hesitant to take any responsibility for this, however. I believe he's inherited some of his father's gentle nature, and that biology is to thank for how easy a toddler he has turned out to be. I mean, he's still pretty demanding of me, I hear "Mummy, sit" numerous times day, and he requires a lot of affection and attention, which I am happy to give. But he's not naughty in any sense of the word.

We have always absolutely showered him with love, kissing him, hugging him, tickling him, being very unabashedly physically affectionate towards him. I like to think that this has encouraged him to treat others in the same way. He's a very loving person, and that is what I am most proud of. In terms of discipline, we tend not to stress out about tactics and methods very much - we ignore cheeky, rebellious acts and praise obedience. But that's about it. He leads a reasonably routined existence, and enjoys quite a bit of variety in his days. He eats everything in moderation - fruit and vegies, cheese, cakes and muffins, chocolate, cereal, whatever we're having... I would feel quite the hypocrite denying him the things that I enjoy (other than Coke, which is strictly forbidden... For now, anyway). He ofteh asks for excessive amounts of treat-type foods, but I tell him no and he accepts that without issue. Who'd have thought my irritable insomniac would become so wonderfully compliant?

So, maybe it's partly us, maybe it's just his innate nature... All I know is, I am thankful to have a son who is so sweet. I am enjoying our time together, and feeling both a little sad that the one-on-one period is about to end and very excited about giving him a sibling with whom we can share our days.