My husband just asked me very nicely to stop yelling at our children...
I don't think I yell at Otis all that often, no more than is useful and understandable, at least. But, yes, I scream at Peggy at least once a day, and I am fully aware of how ridiculous and cruel that is. As if my yelling will make her sleep! It will no more settle her than would a bulldozer crashing through her bedroom wall. It's completely irrational and ineffective. It's pure emotion.
I know I shouldn't, but I do it anyway.
Tips, anyone? How do I get this under control?
My baby does not deserve it, but the tiredness builds and builds until all I want is for her to sleep so that I can be free of her for a short time. A little bit of time away and I can be the happy, shiny Mum she loves and by whom she should ideally be attended.
The last 24 hours have been really hard.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Our days...
Currently go something like this:
7am - Otis and Peggy wake up around now. We get up, have brekky, and put on some washing. On alternate days they each have a shower with me. Peggy HATES it when she's left out, even though Oti and I sing songs to her the whole time we are in there and have her sitting in the bouncer facing us.
7:30/8am - Breastfeed Peggy.
9:00am - Go for a walk, either to the park, or the shops, or storytime... Peggy sleeps unyil around 10.
10:30/11 - Home by now, BF Peggy.
Midday - Both in bed. Otis sleeps for 2 hours, Peggy anywhere from 40 minutes to 2 hours... I usually sit in on the bed and wait for her first wake up so that I can quickly re-settle her before she fully wakes. Sometimes this just doesn't work, and I usually respond by swearing and getting cranky, while P just laughs.
2pm - BF Peggy, lunch for Otis.
2:30/3pm - Might go out again, or play on the balcony, or read, or draw.
4pm - Peggy has another sleep, 45 minutes. Otis and I play.
5pm - BF Peggy, start getting dinner happening. Phil is usually home around now and I am sighing with relief after another exhausting but usually fun-filled day.
7:30pm - BF Peggy (top-up feed, she often falls asleep on the boob) and put her to bed.
8pm - Otis in bed.
During the night, Peggy feeds 3-5 hourly, usually around 12 and 4, and stays in with me after the 4am feed.
7am - Otis and Peggy wake up around now. We get up, have brekky, and put on some washing. On alternate days they each have a shower with me. Peggy HATES it when she's left out, even though Oti and I sing songs to her the whole time we are in there and have her sitting in the bouncer facing us.
7:30/8am - Breastfeed Peggy.
9:00am - Go for a walk, either to the park, or the shops, or storytime... Peggy sleeps unyil around 10.
10:30/11 - Home by now, BF Peggy.
Midday - Both in bed. Otis sleeps for 2 hours, Peggy anywhere from 40 minutes to 2 hours... I usually sit in on the bed and wait for her first wake up so that I can quickly re-settle her before she fully wakes. Sometimes this just doesn't work, and I usually respond by swearing and getting cranky, while P just laughs.
2pm - BF Peggy, lunch for Otis.
2:30/3pm - Might go out again, or play on the balcony, or read, or draw.
4pm - Peggy has another sleep, 45 minutes. Otis and I play.
5pm - BF Peggy, start getting dinner happening. Phil is usually home around now and I am sighing with relief after another exhausting but usually fun-filled day.
7:30pm - BF Peggy (top-up feed, she often falls asleep on the boob) and put her to bed.
8pm - Otis in bed.
During the night, Peggy feeds 3-5 hourly, usually around 12 and 4, and stays in with me after the 4am feed.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Bliss is...
Standing in the shady end of Mum and Dad's pool on a stinking hot, sweaty Sydney summer's day, breastfeeding my baby, while she kicks her legs and enjoys the feel of the cold and the wet on her skin. The water bears much of her weight, she is light as a bubble.
I'll never understand the anti-breastfeeding brigade!
I'll never understand the anti-breastfeeding brigade!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
My girl...
I call her "girly", but with me as her mother, she's anything but, really. Not that an infant can really exhibit gendered characteristics, but as far as her clothing goes... I get lots of disapproving and/or quizzical looks when I dress her in blue or grey, which I do, often. Where is it written that girls must wear pink and purple and nothing else? How will they ever learn their colours with such a limited colour palette? I favour red when picking Peggy's clothes...
Speaking of red, I dressed her in a gorgeous, very traditional red tartan dress when we went to a baby shower on the weekend. It was a gift from my friend Elise. Really pretty, without being pink. Anyway, I lifted her out of her capsule, all puffed up with pride, only to discover that she had done a huge mustardy poo all over the dress ad the matching bloomers. Within minutes she was back in her usual t-shirt and leggings. Just as beautiful in my eyes. My attempts to feminise her were thwarted! Is the universe telling me something?
She's such an "easy" baby now. Never, ever imagined I would be in a position to type those words in relation to a baby of my own. But there's no denying it. Goes to sleep "easily", smiles and coos, happily spends up to 10 minutes alone on her mat or in her bouncer, and doesn't wail the way she once did.
:):) :)
Peggy's independent approach to sleep does, however, enable Otis to continue to need lots of coddling and attention... He pinches the skin on my elbow. If my arm is not comfortably accessible to him, he manouevres it until it is.
Speaking of red, I dressed her in a gorgeous, very traditional red tartan dress when we went to a baby shower on the weekend. It was a gift from my friend Elise. Really pretty, without being pink. Anyway, I lifted her out of her capsule, all puffed up with pride, only to discover that she had done a huge mustardy poo all over the dress ad the matching bloomers. Within minutes she was back in her usual t-shirt and leggings. Just as beautiful in my eyes. My attempts to feminise her were thwarted! Is the universe telling me something?
She's such an "easy" baby now. Never, ever imagined I would be in a position to type those words in relation to a baby of my own. But there's no denying it. Goes to sleep "easily", smiles and coos, happily spends up to 10 minutes alone on her mat or in her bouncer, and doesn't wail the way she once did.
:):) :)
Peggy's independent approach to sleep does, however, enable Otis to continue to need lots of coddling and attention... He pinches the skin on my elbow. If my arm is not comfortably accessible to him, he manouevres it until it is.
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