Torn

I think half my problem is that I am torn between doing what "they" say I should, and doing what I feel naturally inclined to do. I am obsessed with preventing the formation of bad habits, when perhaps I should just be living in the now. Mum told me to jump into bed with him and put him on the boob if/when all else fails... That is exactly what I long to do when he is distressed, but I have convinced myself that it's not "allowed". I'm not sure who is policing all this — I guess I am. Neither Phil, nor Mum, nor Lan, nor any of the other key players in my mothering life expect me and Otis to be a perfectly, by-the-book, functioning unit. But I have internalised all the mantras that you hear in parenting books and at the Early Childhood Health Centre and on TV. It's so silly.

I've gone against SIDS guidelines yet again, and put his sheepskin in his cot. It seems to be helping. The idea of a bare, short-sheeted cot is just fine in theory, but so un-cosy, so impractical when it comes to inducing sleep in an infant. So do you follow the guidelines to the letter and end up tearing your hair out, or do you use common sense and proceed with caution? It's a tough one.

Oh, he wakes...