I guess there are two separate gender debates I could discuss here. The first is, of course, the notion that bad mornng sickness indicates a female foetus. This is what many people strongly believe, and I am fielding plenty of very confident claims that my baby is without a doubt a girl. Time will tell. I for one doubt that gender can so easily be diagnosed. I am also in no hurry to know! Boy or girl, every passing day provides further evidence of its presence. My bump is big, bigger than the average 20 week bump at least, and I'm feeling lots of gentle swishes from within.
But what I wanted to talk about here is Otis' fascination with all things 'boy' — he shakes with anticipation when the garbage truck drives past (early Monday mornings are most thrilling at our place), opens his eyes wide and points at motorbikes whether they are passing by loudly or parked, and enjoys mimicking a crocodile's snapping jaws and an elephant raising it's trunk. Being the type of mother I am, I can assure you I in no way pushed these interests onto him. They just sprung from somewhere inside his brain. He has very few gender-specific items, one lonely dump truck and a book about trucks, a book about a racing car and a few others bits and pieces. Is this stuff really and truly inherently there from the moment of conception? Or perhaps it a case of us and his other carers encouraging, subconsciously, the interests we and society deem appropriate for him, and simply ignoring those that are feminine.
The truth is, I don't want my son to end up a macho, beer-swilling, emotionally immature, stereotypical male. I'm not saying he should dress in women's clothes or anything like that (although, if he does, I'll love him anyway), but my hope is that he turns out to be more like his father, and unafraid to be a little different. He does adore his Cabbage Patch, Zach, and gets real joy out of dressing him, wrapping him and patting him to sleep, so perhaps not all is lost. In the meantime I will do what I can to encourage an array of interest, including, I suppose, those of the transportation variety!
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I was always so sure that gender stereotypes were an external influence and not sure whether to be frightened or comforted by the notion that it may well be largely intrinsic. I do know one thing for sure, no son of yours will ever be a macho stereoptye!
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