Pregnancy the second time around...

I'll be blunt — it hasn't been as nice an experience as the first. Of course, there is the unplanned, a-little-too-soon, scary element to contend with. I only started working in February, three weeks later I was pregnant. My fear of not having a job to return to after having my baby cast a real shadow over the first few weeks. I did what I could to mask my burgeoning belly and all-day nausea, to the point of downing two glasses of wine at a work function! Crazy, but we want (need) to buy a house next year, and my wage is a significant chunk of how much we need to be earning in order to do that. Anyway, my boss was fine, and, my job will be there come February/March next year. Phew!

Then there's the fact that I have a toddler on my hands, 24-7, and no time to indulge in the wonder of being pregnant. Sometimes it takes me a few minutes after I wake up in the morning before I even remember I am having another one! The truth is, the one already functioning in the world is the one I am forced to focus on, so Bubba #2 misses out a little.

I'm much more tired this time around — a combination of a still-wakeful baby (he's getting much, much better though), balancing work and motherhood, and being anti-meat this time around! Yes, I've pregnancy-induced vegetarianism, and I think the lack of iron is leaving me extra-exhausted. I've been sick since about 6 weeks, and I am now 16 1/2 weeks... It's lasted much longer, and has made mothering my boy so very hard. All the energy I've been able to muster I've given to him, in the form of cuddles, songs, walks, park visits and the sort of enthusiasm he's come to expect from me. There's been nothing left over for Phil, or for anyone else. I've barely seen any of my friends, I've been in bed by 9 almost every night. It's an odd sort of life. Luckily my little family is all I really need.

Cravings? Citrus, pineapple, anything with a tang to it. Chocolate milk. Vegetables. At work I've been really into vegie stir-fry. My Hokka Hokka loyalty card is filling up nicely...

Despite all of this, there is no denying the thrill of witnessing my body grow and change, of hearing my newest little one's heart thumping away, of fantasising about the relationship that will form between Otis and his sibling. I know how lucky I am, I do.