Bad day...

Today has been really... challenging. Last night Otis fed 2 hourly, if not more frequently, so I am feeling very worn out. After such an anomalous night, he woke up out-of-sorts and grumbly. He was having lots of short, snacky feeds, and catnapping rather than really sleeping. My first attempt to get him to sleep was at around 3, which is when he is usually waking up... I got him down, but he squirmed and slithered like a snake, tossing his head to and fro, spitting out his dummy and then frantically sucking air and dribbling all over the sheets. I took him out for a cuddle, and after a little while his eyes started closing. I took that as a signal that he was ready for sleep, re-wrapped him, and put him back in. 5 minutes of patting and rocking, and then I tip-toed out as stealthily as I could. Breathing a sigh of relief in the kitchen and treating myself to a cold drink, I heard his cries... Whimpers at first, developing into screams. Anyway, to cut a long story short I tried 5 times all up, and finally managed to get him to sleep on our bed at around 4.

I then realised I hadn't expressed enough milk for Mum to give him tomorrow, so frantically set about boiling water to sterilise the pump and bottle. Our microwave broke! Anyway, in my exhaustion and haste I managed to burn my hand. As you can imagine, the tears flowed! I'd just had enough.

Luckily I have a Mum I can call anytime — either for advice or a shoulder to cry on. Just hearing someone say, "I know how hard it is" — that is incredibly comforting.

I am dreading having to sit and rock and pat for another hour or so tonight... Not only is it tedious and frustrating, it is also physically awkward. No wonder new mothers often lose weight rather rapidly... What with the baby-wearing in slings and Bjorns, pram-pushing, cradle-rocking, patting to pacify, having no time to eat, and breastfeeding... I should be giving Nicole Ricihie and the like a run for their money in no time!

There. Feel much better now having written all this down.

As Anne Shirley likes to say, tomorrow is a fresh day with no mistakes in it.

It's also our 3 year wedding anniversary!