Australia...

I saw it last night. Rarely has a film made such an emotional impact on me. I guess mother/son scenarios move me that much more since having Otis. In the film, Nicole Kidman's character becomes something of a mother to the gorgeous, endearing little Nulla, and has to eventually face up to, not only his Aboriginality, but, more significantly for me, his maturation. He has to "go walkabout", to become a man.

I have been thinking so much about Otis getting older, getting bigger, becoming a boy as opposed to a baby. It makes me sad. I want him to stay attached to me, to continue to adore me and crave my affection and nearness, to always be as physically close to me as he is now. I don't want him to get tall and pimply and hairy and sarcastic. But I know that one day he will. And of course, one day I just know I'll be so proud of the man he becomes. But right now I am trying to savour his smallness.

He's not that small! He's nearly 10 kg at 10 months of age. His weight gain slowed down a little over the last month, I think because he went through a phase wherein refusing food was something of a game to him. He's back to eating lots and often. He's 76 cm tall, still quite tall for his age. I bought him his first proper pair of shoes, little black Dunlop Volleys, and they look incredibly cute paired with a slogan tee and jeans or cargos. I really do love dressing him! In him I get to assemble the kind of outfits I'd wear if I were male.

He's been crawling properly now for about 2 weeks. He's quick and sometimes, a bit like a 4WD, just drives straight through/over whatever is in his way. He sometimes waves goodbye now, and will sometimes pass something to me if I ask and put my hand out. He also shakes his head "no" if he's had enough food or boob. His hair is getting long to the point that people are frequently mistaking him for a girl — luckily this doesn't phase me.